WHY L.A. traffic sucks: Parking

As promised, we revisit the issue of parking - not as we did in our post WHY L.A. traffic sucks #6: Pesky annoying quirks: Street parking, which dealt with parking as a blockage to traffic, but parking as a blockage to the QUALITY OF DRIVING in L.A.

If ALL the cars in L.A. were in motion at the same time, I doubt there would be enough roads to hold them all. At times, it does seem they are ALL on the road. Where do ALL those cars go to park - during the day or night? Who knows! If you drive, you have - by necessity - to park sometime. Unless you are set up with nice parking spots at home and work, when and where to park is always an issue in L.A.

Whoever designed the Third Street Promenade in Santa Monica did the right thing. Those great Public Parking structures with the first hour FREE (additional hour $1.00!) are an excellent example of L.A. DONE RIGHT.

Problem is, the excellent Third Street Promenade parking design is THE EXCEPTION NOT THE RULE (and on busy weekends, those Public Parking structures are barely enough for that area of Santa Monica). In the rest of L.A., depending on where you are going and how long you need to be there, finding affordable, convenient parking can take you more than a few circles around the block. And then, if the parking you found is metered, you had better have enough coins to pay for it and a good reliable timer to make sure you don't go over your time by even one minute! If you do, chances are the fascist Parking Enforcement will be there writing you a ticket.

I was once in Hollywood looking for parking. The only spot I found had a broken meter - out of order, not working. I wasn't about to park there just like that. I saw a Parking Enforcement car going by and I flagged him down. I asked him what the deal was with the broken meter and whether I could park there. He said, "If the meter is broken, you can park there for two hours." I said, "ARE YOU SURE?" He said, "yep, that's the rule." I took his word for it.

Can you imagine my surprise when I come back to the car not even within an hour and I find a freshly minted parking ticket on my windshield? The whole street seemed to be swarming with these parking enforcement people. I saw another one go by and I flagged him down. "Hey! One of you guys said that if the meter was broken, I could park here for two hours free!! What's with this ticket on my windshield?" Apparently, this guy was the THIRD Parking Enforcement that had gone by checking the meters. There must be more of them than LAPD officers!

He said this, that and the other and that there was NOTHING he could do about it and to contact the City of L.A. Parking Enforcement Division on the back of the ticket and dispute it. Or just pay it. Or whatever.

I NEVER paid it. F#@&'em! (it was a car rental, anyway).

If you happen to be staying in West Hollywood near the Strip, you NEED a parking permit to park on most streets in that whole area - actually, in all of West Hollywood. When you look at the parking signs, you wonder whether you need a Ph.D. to figure the darn thing out! But if you have a permit, the thing to watch out for is the "No Parking - Street Cleaning" day. Don't forget the day, or the time, or sure enough, there'll be a %@$@#*@ ticket on your windshield. The city of West Hollywood is incredibly fascist about parking. [See "Parking Pestilence - L.A. Gets the Boot" for a great rant on parking in L.A., and especially, on getting tickets because of "street cleaning".]

I got my share of Hollywood parking tickets, West Hollywood parking tickets and Santa Monica parking tickets. It's a racket.

If we were living in Feudal times, L.A. Parking Enforcement would be the tax collectors of the day. If we were living in Nazi Germany, they would be the Gestapo.

The limited availability of affordable garage parking or of residences with enough parking, makes street parking a necessity. Street parking means parallel parking. Parallel parking means blocking the right lane long enough sometimes to disturb the normal flow of traffic. So the lack of enough conveniently located public parking structures affects traffic in L.A. - not to mention the other issues we already dealt with in our post WHY L.A. traffic sucks #6: Pesky annoying quirks: Street parking.

The other option, of course, is paid parking. If you can afford it, that is. I was once desperate to find a parking spot overnight for my car in West Hollywood, right off the Strip, near Crescent Heights. I didn't have a parking permit that night and I had already circled all the blocks in that whole area without luck. I asked the attendant of one of these paid parking places how much it'd cost me to park there overnight. The parking lot was almost empty. He checked with his boss on the cell phone. The price he quoted me was exhorbitantly outrageous. I said, "No way! Thanks, but no thanks!"

I wonder whether the paid parking business in L.A. is as strong a lobby locally as the health care and pharmaceutical industries are nationally. Somebody is making a pretty penny every weekend on all those paid parking facilities off the Strip and around L.A. Couldn't they just be taken over by the cities and turned into public parking facilities for EVERYBODY?

Here's a city that was designed for the car. Here's a city where, regardless of who you are (diehard biker, radical environmentalist), for one reason or another, sooner or later, one way or another, you are going to have to use, borrow, rent or buy a car. Here's a city where a car is a necessity but where you are PENALIZED for having a car through these PUNITIVE taxation in the form of parking tickets or your POCKETBOOK IS DRAINED paying for parking to the paid parking racket cartel.

This is what parking is like in L.A. There are just not enough parking spots. The meters don't work well or don't work at all sometimes. And you have fascist parking enforcement up the wazoo!

A little nightmare...

SOLUTION: WHAT CAN BE DONE TO FIX IT?

With all the money these tax collectors in disguise are raking up, the city of Los Angeles and West Hollywood should have enough funds to build enough Public Parking structures (first hour FREE, additional hour $1.00, maximum $5) ALL OVER the city to solve this problem and put these Parking Enforcement people to better use.

It doesn't take a genius to see that these cities (L.A., Santa Monica and West Hollywood - Beverly Hills is kind of cool about parking, I thought) have found a nice little source of revenue with this parking racket and they are probably not about to give it up.

If there's one thing, the residents of Car City, USA should be up in arms, raving mad about, parking is it!

Whatever happened to the "Proposition 13" tax revolt spirit I've read so much about? In the late 1970's the citizens of California got raving mad about escalating property taxes and drafted and passed "Proposition 13" to limit those taxes. I think it's time for another revolt - this time a revolt against this "taxation without representation"! Did you elect these parking enforcement people? Do they truly represent your interests? Do they add to the quality of life in L.A. or do they diminsh it?

In the spirit of the American Revolution, throw a Santa Monica Pier "tea party" - for lack of a Boston harbor :-) - and overthrow those King George's of Parking. GO!
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Check out: "Parking Pestilence - L.A. Gets the Boot". Great rant on parking in L.A.
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Photos: Upper left-hand: the symbol of fascist parking enforcement. Upper right-hand: Howard Jarvis (1903-1986) helped lead the campaign to pass Proposition 13 in 1978. It has saved Californians an estimated $400 billion and allowed millions of Californians to keep their homes. (Photo c1978-2005 Save Prop. 13 Committee). Photo courtesy of Save Proposition 13 Committee