Saturday, May 20, 2006

California Roll: You Know You're From LA When...


California Roll: You Know You're From LA When...
As promised, today we lighten up and laugh a bit. Are you ready for a good laugh? It's time to take a break from WHY L.A. traffic sucks and WHAT we can do about it. It's time to lighten up and laugh about L.A. and its traffic courtesy of ~G~, Jennifer, and jAx!. Thank you all!

I'm quoting mostly the traffic-related stuff. If you want to read the whole thing (funny), click on their names above...

You Know You're From LA When...

->You're driving on the 101 and see a clear-cut definition of where the smog begins and ends;

->You're sitting in traffic for at least an hour at any given part of the day;

->You begin to "lie" to your friends about where you are (i.e. "Yeah I'm, like, 20 minutes away") - when you know that it'll take you at least an hour to get there);

->You look around at the nice cars around you during traffic, thinking it'll be your favorite Laker or WB star;

->You know it's best not to be on the 405 at 4:05 p.m.;

->Getting anywhere from point A to point B, no matter what the distance, takes about "twenty minutes";

->You know what "sigalert", "PCH", and "the five" mean;

->If your destination is more than 5 minutes away on foot, you're definitely driving;

->Your TV show is interrupted by a police chase;

->You don't stop at a STOP sign, you do a California Roll;

->You've lost your car in the Century City Shopping Center parking lot;

->You've never bought oranges, flowers, cherries or peanuts on a freeway off-ramp;

->You drive next to a Rolls Royce and don't notice;

->You've started crossing a street and returned to the curb when the DON'T WALK sign started flashing;

->When giving directions, you follow up with the phrase: "With/Without traffic";

->Driving along, you see a high-speed police chase approaching in your rear view mirror. You don't panic or even flinch. Instead, you call your friends on your car phone and tell them you're on TV;

->You know that if you drive two miles in any direction you will find a McDonald's or a Starbucks;

->You live 10 miles from work. It takes you 60 minutes to get home;

->Walking out of Jamba Juice, you see that a movie is being shot on-location across the street;

->You are not happy, or even slightly excited that there may be a movie star there. You just say, "They f*ckin' better not be blocking my parking space";

->You've gotten parking tickets from parking in the red zone in front of your house;

->The gym is packed at 3pm...on a workday. [Here's the real reason L.A. traffic never lets up in! :-)];

->The workday starts at 10am...or whenever you get out of your therapy session. [Here's the second real reason L.A. traffic never lets up in! :-)];

->Any invitation comes with, "Starts at 8pm or as soon as you can get through traffic";

->The three hour traffic jam you just sat through wasn't caused by a horrific 9 car pile-up, but by everyone slowing down to rubberneck at a lost shoe lying on the shoulder;

->All the "cool gyms" allow pedestrians on the street a full-view of those working out. Literally, you can't drive by Wilshire without staring into L.A. Fitness. Perhaps a new form of window shopping?

->Your cell phone has left a permanant impression on the side of your head;

->You classify new people you meet by their Area Code. An "818" would never date a "562" and anyone from "323" or "213" is ghetto/second class. Best area code: "310" [this is SO true!!];

->You say you live in LA when really you live in a subsection of a subsection of a subsection of southern L.A.;

->You think you are better than the people who live "Over the Hill". It don't matter which side of the hill you are currently residing, you are just better than them, for whatever reason [this is SO true!!];

->You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Los Angeles.
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Photo collage courtesy of italianesco (how'd you like my "California Roll"? :-)
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3 comments:

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