DRIVING TIPS: SMART FOXES vs. HERDS OF SHEEP.
How do you get from A to Z? Driving tips to bypass heavy traffic and get there on time. SMART FOXES vs. HERDS OF SHEEP.
The powers-that-be in L.A. need to start finding ways to redirect traffic to UNCLOG freeways and main roads (see my post "WHY L.A. traffic sucks: that "monster," the 405 freeway..."). And angelenos need to stop being herds of sheep clogging the freeways and main roads and start thinking of CREATIVE ways to bypass traffic. There are OTHER WAYS of getting there. Believe me. Forget your high school geometry. In L.A., the shortest distance between two points is NOT a straight line.
Suppose you are in Marina del Rey (Washington at Pacific) and you need to get to West Hollywood by 6:00 and it's 5:00pm. How do you make it?
Take I-10 East, exit La Cienega North and voila`?!? That'll take you two hours, if you're lucky! That's the herds of sheep way. That's WHY is is CLOGGED. What's the SMART FOX way of getting there?
Some people swear by Venice, others swear by Olympic. The truth is, neither is a good alternative unless they implement my idea of turning them into "virtual freeways" by keeping the lights GREEN for a longer period of time (5 to 10 minutes).
Here's what you do.
You are on Pacific and Washington Blvd. right by the ocean. And you're starting to despair (I'll never make it!!"). Take it easy. Have no fear, italianesco is here, and will tell you how to get there in no time at all.
Go East on Washington Blvd. Make a left on Lincoln. Go past Venice Blvd. And then--careful! don't miss it!--make a right on PALMS. Yes, PALMS!! Go east on Palms. At Penmar, Palms jogs. So make a right on Penmar and then an immediate left right back onto Palms. But STAY ON PALMS! After Walgrove, Palms widens a bit and starts getting wonderful. And the most important thing: up to now, NO traffic! NO traffic at all!!
And here's the truly, really WONDERFUL THING ABOUT PALMS: unlike a lot of other small streets, Palms has an OVERPASS over the 405!!! Can you believe it? An overpass!!! Go right over it, and once you are on the other side of the 405, you're half way there!
Stay with us. It gets interesting...
Once you get to I-10, guesswhat? Palms has an UNDERPASS under I-10!!! An underpass! Can you believe it? Whoever did Palms was a GENIUS! Palms is L.A. DONE RIGHT. If ALL the streets that cross the 405 and I-10 were like Palms, there'd be hardly any traffic problem on the Westside. (see my post "WHY L.A. traffic sucks #2: bad (or not exactly forward-looking) design")
After I-10, you wonder, "Where in the world did lovely Palms go?!? It was great!!" Well, guesswhat? It turned into National. And National is a heavy-duty traffic street. Stay away from it! Make a left onto Castle Heights Avenue. Then make a right on Cattaraugus Avenue. Then make a left on S. Robertson Blvd. A bit of traffic here, but don't panic! As soon as you get to Olympic, MAKE A RIGHT! Here--way, way, way East of the 405--three-lane Olympic ROCKS!! Go East on Olympic and then make a left on Crescent Heights, and you've made it!! We got you there!!! And right on time! (ahem... Give or take a minute, of course... In L.A. you NEVER know...)
So that's the SMART FOX WAY OF GETTING THERE! You get on the roads that rock, not on the roads that suck! If you'd rather be stuck for two hours on I-10 East or Venice or Olympic like a herd of sheep, be our guest!! Hope you have plenty of good music with you or a good audio book, or, since you're not really going to be driving but going bumper to bumper, then, yes, why not? go ahead and talk on your cell phone all you want for two hours. At least, it'll keep you sane... That's what sheep do when they are in a herd, anyway, go "beehhhhhhhhh!!" The SMART FOX will get there quicker than you and win the prize... No "sense of entitlement," no rudeness, just smartness. That's all it takes...
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Make it viral. Make it vital...
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3 comments:
The reason that routes like the Palms bypass aren't clogged with traffic is that most people don't know about them.
If you talk about such routes too much, they will become clogged with traffic.
Or the residents of the (usually residential) areas they run through will get tired of all the "smart fox" traffic, and install speed bumps, No-Turn-During-Rush-Hour signs, or otherwise block off and muck up your favorite bypass.
A while back, some fool actually published a whole book full of these rush-hour bypasses, and the resulting boom in traffic led to a number of them implementing exactly the sort of restrictions described above. Ruined some of the best bypasses in the city.
So, mum's the word! Don't give away the secrets.
Oh, and on the route you described:
How do you turn left onto Crescent Heights from Olympic? I haven't been that way in a while, but last time I looked, Crescent Heights ended at Wilshire.
I have only been in LA a few months. My GF found this page the other day, and we loved this route (We live in SaMo, but work/play in Westwood and Hollywood). But I have some bad news -- this route is DONE.
As we speak it looks like they are putting RAMPS TO 405 at the Palms overpass. Just what everyone needs is a way to add more cars to the 405.
And if the neighborhoods adjacent to the Palms/405 overpass didn't like the cut-thru traffic right now (us foxes), think of how much the won't like all the new 'sheep' going to get on the 405 parking lot.
I'm going to draft a memorandum-for-record to the CA DOT informing them how ungodly stupid this is.
It's truly a sad day. The pureaucrats win again.
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