Do angelenos dream of electric "air surfing" and flying saucers?

Do angelenos dream of electric "air surfing" and flying saucers*, subways and monorails**?

An "angeleno" friend of mine, cynically jokes that angelenos "love unprotected lefts just like they love unprotected sex!" (hah-hah, very funny!)

It may be that angelenos like it this way. They like their messed-up traffic city as a leftover of the outlaw days of the wild, wild West. Maybe so. I have yet to meet a REAL born and raised "native angeleno", though. Most of the people in L.A. are not from there, anyway. They've come from somewhere and brought their wild ways with them and contribute to the mess instead helping to fix it. I can't believe real Californians want to give the world this impression of them as a group of people who can't get their stuff together. The world has this impression of California as a place on the cutting edge of science and technology (CalTech, Silicon Valley), entertainment (Hollywood), social issues (the 60's), the environment (Earth Day). It must come as quite a shock to them to come to a city whose traffic is only a little better than that of many overpopulated Third World cities.

During the height of the three-month-long MTA METRO mechanics strike in 2003, the city turned practically into a Third World city overnight. Traffic was horrifying and it was crippling the city and driving businesses out of business--not to mention fraying the nerves of a lot of people. Bands of Mexicans armed with vans drove up and down Wilshire Boulevard picking up anyone who'd flag them down for a couple of dollars as an army of "pirate taxis" rising to the ocassion and saving a lot of people who couldn't car pool with anyone or afford a daily commute by cab from losing their jobs. It gave the city a real Third World flavor. Wild, wild West, indeed.

Americans are used to instant gratification: a miracle pill that would allow them to eat all they want as much as they want whenever they want and keep them "slim fit". L.A. probably needs to take a very bitter pill to cure its chronic traffic artereosclerosis. But that's not what I'd like to concern myself with here. I'd like to focus on smaller, much smaller scale things that are "do-able" (like "good diet and exercise": get those "arteries" flowing!) without spending millions and without involving the politicians and the public in any major political struggle ("triple bypass surgery": a complete subway system). I'd like to make suggestions that, if followed, would speed up traffic ALMOST INSTANTLY and take ALMOST NOTHING to implement except a little determination to MAKE THINGS BETTER. People like my angeleno friend above can take their cynicism to the desert and leave it somewhere out there near Palm Springs...

One thing is for sure: electric "air surfing" and flying saucers (or subways and monorails, for that matter!) aren't coming to L.A. anytime soon. They might as well fix the traffic problem on the ground if they want to get from point A to point B on time without being consumed by apathy or road rage...


[* a reference to Philip K. Dick's book, "Do androids dream of electric sheep?" The movie "Blade Runner" was based on this book. A futuristic vision of L.A. in which some do have flying saucers to fly over it all]

[** see: Begging for L.A. monorail in Here in Van Nuys blog]

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